Reminders

Throwback Thursday anyone? 2009 post

I’m proud to say that I’m one of the happy ones. Maybe not all of the time nor at every moment of life; but in general, my mood is a light and pleasant one filled with absolute marvel for the world and the people that I’m blessed to be surrounded with. I admire a lot of people, and appreciate the small things in life; like long conversations that effortlessly ripple through a plethora of topics about absolutely everything and nothing. I appreciate the strangers that say hello with smiles on their faces when they walk down the street. I appreciate the way the sky looks most of the time, it’s breathtaking to me, and instead of looking down at my smartphone all of the time, when I'm outdoors, my head is usually looking up directly at the sky awaiting the next masterpiece. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, and a lot of people think I’m faking the joy that I seem to exude, but I feel sorry for those people because they’re dead wrong.

Alas, there are no absolutes, and even the positive people get broken down. Last year, I received a few negative comments about my blog that had really turned me off from blogging. I felt upset about the comments for longer than I care to admit, and they made me revert back to the happy hermit that I used to be, when I just journaled.

The beauty of journaling is that nobody reads the entries but you. Blogging really makes you vulnerable to the big scary firestorm of online critics whose only goal is to bring you down. I’m not inventing these people, they’re out there, and they prey on people like me, who enjoy writing but who wouldn’t dare call themselves professionals by any means.

I am convinced that I only have three fans of my blog, and two of them are myself. (I’m kidding). But another reason I’ve stopped blogging was because I asked myself this: 

“If nobody is reading it then what is the point of blogging?”

This in turn inspired almost an entire journal filled with philosophic questions about my intentions with this blog; and with any social media platform that I use to express myself with on a regular basis. I’m happy to say that my chronic journaling hasn’t been in vain because I’ve had a small epiphany:

“Cassandra (yes, sometimes I write to myself in the third person…sue me)You will be judged for absolutely everything you do in life; what you wear, how you speak, what music you listen to, what books you read, if you don’t read at all, what your diet is like, what your house looks like, what your shoes look like… Absolutely everything is at mercy of the scrutiny of others. Get over it.”

In other words, there is no escaping judgement, because even after you die, it’s sad to say, the judgements will not stop. As gloomy as the realities may be, I personally find it liberating, because it helped me realize how ridiculous I was being to stop doing something I loved for people I didn’t even know, or like.

Thus, despite the fact that my audience is small, and despite the fact that I’ve received some hateful comments about my ridiculously informal writing style in the past, I’ve decided to start blogging again. The opinions of other people are not worth more than my own opinion. What matters is that when I’m writing, I’m beaming like a lunatic because I’m filled with delight, and a kind of stubborn gladness that very few things make me feel. I’ve decided to blog for myself, because it’s one of my creative outlets, and I will not stop using it because in the ruthless furnace of a world we live in, sources of joy are crucial to a positive existence.

We seem to live in a world where peoples hard work, dedication and achievements, that are often shared publically, too often inspires a lot of contempt online. I’ll give two quick examples:

Exhibit A: A young 30 year old man received a lot of scrutiny and hateful comments because of his unbelievable story, he paid off his mortgage in just 3 years. I personally find his story inspiring, and think he’s ludicrously dedicated to have made all of those sacrifices to achieve his goal, but thousands upon thousands of people begged to differ. 

Exhibit B: A 36 year old mother of three achieves her fitness goals, and in what I believe was an attempt to motivate others, she posted a photo of her and her three boys with the question “What’s your excuse?” She received a lot of negative comments because people felt personally attacked, and even bullied by her. She even went as far as posting a public apology, which takes a lot of gusto.

What I enjoyed about one of her apologies (yes there were two, apparently one wasn’t enough) was the following:

“"What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue 'hating' this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.”

If people choose not to like my posts, that’s fine. But their opinions are not my problem, it’s theirs. I think it’s hard to be happy for others when you’re unhappy with your own life, and I understand, because I’ve been there. We all have. I want to share my blog not only because it might inspire one of my three fans, but because writing inspires me, and that’s important.

Thanks for reading.