Family

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.”

During my time here, I’ve witnessed the tremendous importance that Ecuadorians place on family. A native friend of mine explained that, family is one of the most important aspects of a persons life in Ecuador. In the Galapagos, and in many indigenous communities throughout the country, the children reside in their parents’ house until they get married… After the wedding, they move next door (or very very close by). They hold great importance in cultivating, maintaining and prioritizing on family relationships as the most important value to carry on throughout life.

As far as cultural integration goes, I’ve been receiving cooking classes for a few weeks now from a few women from the Puerto Hondo community; I've improved my spanish tremendously; I’ve learned how to dance Salsa, Bachata and Merengue, all very beautiful Latin American dances in my opinion; However, one of the things I was excited to learn more about, were the Ecuadorian family traditions. But this past week, I was in luck, let me explain…

Ana and I (paint will be explained)

My friend, Ana Christina Onofre from work, and I were having our typical lunchtime conversation, when she asked me what my plan for the long weekend was. I found that a bit strange simply because it was only Tuesday at the time. “Uhm haven’t really thought about it yet, we´re not even halfway there hon, its Tuesday.” She assured me that she knew, however this particular long weekend began on Wednesday. This blew me away, a 5-day weekend? When I asked her what the occasion was, she simply told me, “The Day of the dead”. Zombies came to mind, but I knew that couldn't be it, so I sat there puzzled. She then continued to explain the following:

Ecuadorians don't celebrate Halloween, at least not like Canadians do. Shouting Trick or treat door to door does not exist, and free candy is most definitely out of the question. Instead, on the first few days after Halloween, they celebrate The Day of the Dead. According to their beliefs when an individual dies, his spirit continues to live in the afterlife. We call it heaven, but they have several names for it such as “Mictlan, cielos or con Dios”. All of those names refer to the place of residence of the souls who have left their earthly lives. On this 3 day holiday, families reunite together at the cemetery and share a meal there. This tradition has nothing to do with mourning or sadness; it is however, a festival of joy and remembrance. They believe that the spirits of their lost loved ones come back on this holiday, and enjoy their presence. They also bring gifts and leave them there before saying a few words. The only rule was to have a lot of fun, great conversations and to truly enjoy yourself at the dinner. On these days, you celebrate life and the pleasures that it offers.

On the Ecuadorian coast, the people celebrate the Day of the Dead in a slightly different way. The day before they eat with their lost ones at the cemetery, they leave the dishes of food by the grave sight overnight. Though the food is still there the next day, they believe that it has been enjoyed by the spirits of their loved ones that have passed.

“The best part of it all”, Ana Christina added, as if a 5 day weekend isn’t good enough, “is the family time. We generally reunite as a family for the length of the weekend. After our 2 meals in the cemetery, we spend the remainder of our days off together.” I told her I envied her because I greatly missed my family. After exchanging a few funny family reunion stories, she asked me “Why don’t you join my family this year?” …. I was thinking, "thanks, but no thanks". I didn’t want to impose. Also, eating at a cemetery sounded cool, but the idea of it gives still gave me the chills. She assured me that everything would be fine, and that her family would love to have me. “Besides, it´s more of a party with great food than anything else”. She told me I would forget I was in a cemetery at all . . . And I finally agreed to go to one of the two days with her family. I had to admit that the idea of being around a family again sounded very appealing.

The evening we went to the cemetery, no pictures were allowed to be taken. However the food was delicious, we then said a prayer with candles, and each person shared a happy memory that they've had with their lost family members. It was very interactive, and some of her family members were crying of joy. The stories they shared were funny, and touching, I felt like I was getting to know the person they were referring to just a little bit. Other than initial introductions on who I am, and where I´m from, I don’t think I´ve ever been so quiet in my entire life. I was simply observing everyone, and how happy they were to see each other and catch up after some time apart. After everything was done, Ana Christina's grandmother asked me if I played sports, when I answered yes, she requested I be on her team. I wasn't sure what she was talking about, but then Ana quickly explained that they had a family game day the following day. She invited me to join them. Knowing I had no other plans, I gladly accepted, and gave them my address so that I could be picked up at 7am the next morning. I couldn't wait to play games :)

Ana's sister and 2 cousins

7am arrived in a flash, and I was already in a car on my way to an unknown destination. When I arrived at Ana Christina’s house, I didn’t expect to see a coach bus there. They rented it so that the whole family can go to a camping site nearby for their family game day. For an early morning, everyone was bursting with energy. They were singing songs on the bus, and giggling so much that I couldn’t tell the parents apart from the children. I knew this day would be one to remember.

We finally arrived to a beautiful campsite, that looked more like a resort to me. 

There were horses

Swimming pools

And lots of Open space

When the Onofre Family and I got off the bus, we all reunited under a hut where we were all chatting and waiting for more family members to arrive in their cars.

 This was the first time that I learned that my boss at Cerro Blanco, Eric Horseman was Ana Christina´s uncle. I Also learned that the accountant at work was her father, and the secretary was her Aunt. What a small world. They both greeted me with big smiles on their faces, and invited me to a family activity day that they had planned for the following morning. 

Ana's dad, Andres

The day began with an announcement to see who was on what team. There were 4 teams in total. 

The Yellow Team

The Orange team

The Red team

And the Blue Team

Even the babies had teams! 

After a quick breakfast, a few photos and some interesting team song inventions, it was game time. In each activity, the teams had a chance to win 1-4 points. The first place team won 4 points, the second place won 3 points, and so on and so forth. (get it? Forth? :)

The games of the day included. . .  

Bobbing for apples

Blindfolded throw, and catch in net

My boss:  it was nice to see him in a casual setting :)

The judges

Potato sac races. . . yes thats me.. yes the bag looks tiny. 

Blindfolded yogurt feeding contest

And much much more . . . 

In the end, the Yellow team won the most points. We then had a great lunch waiting for us, and spend

the remainder of the afternoon soaking up the sun while splashing around in the pool.

 (turn down your sound before pressing play)

We all want to "belong" and feel accepted. And that is exactly what the Onofre family made me feel like. They were kind, warm and accepting of my presence. They made me feel so comfortable that I felt like I was more then part of a team, but also part of the family. Seeing such a strong family bond always gives me a sense of trust and hope in the world around us. They were like a well functioning community, each member had a different and vital role to the game day. There were a few misunderstandings, but they all got resolved almost immediately. What can’t be solved with communication and compromise? I had an amazing time getting to know each member in a different way, and learning a bit more about their family history. This game day was a new tradition for them, but it was going to be one from now on, I was happy to be a part of it with them.