Motherhood

If I were to write a book about motherhood it would be called "what day is it?" Or "Did I eat today?" Better yet "when was my last shower?" Motherhood had been equal parts blissful adventure and blind faith in myself. I have no idea what I'm doing but My baby is alive, happy and healthy so I must be doing something right. I haven't posted anything since my birth story which feels like last month but somehow it was 4 months ago! (WHAT?!) Babies are the physical becoming of time passing. 4 months used to come and go, now it grows before my eyes and becomes more aware, more vocal and man... these chubby cheeked smiles are just magical. Motherhood to me is the best decision I've ever made and I'm thankful everyday to be blessed enough to experience it. So much has changed, too much for one posting, But here's my attempt to share some of those changes.

1.My house is a mess most of the time, (yes, more than "normal" mess mom...) because instead of cleaning while he naps I relax and do things I couldn't do when he was awake such as shower and go to the bathroom and take my sweet time ;) 

2. Getting simple things done like making myself breakfast and prepping dinner has become a one armed task (especially at first when he was >3mts old). I had to master the art of getting things done with a baby in one arm or I would starve lol. My go-to foods ended up being a few boiled eggs and green smoothies, both easy to make and consume with one hand. That, and I didn't have much of an appetite in the first few days (just didn't feel hungry) , so smoothies were easy to consume and nutritionally dense enough to provide my body with what it needed for milk-production. 

3. What time is it?! I set an alarm at noon Because time has become a master of illusions, it's too easy to lose track of it when you're not at work. That noon alarm  tells me (get changed and accomplish one task  today) lol. Without that alarm it's easy to do nothing but fawn over my new bundle of joy and nap... I did plenty of that in the beginning #SorryNotSorry 

4. Nobody told me how excited I'd be over burps, farts and poops! So much happiness comes after the baby releases those pesky air bubbles. It can make the difference between miserable baby and happy cooing baby. I've been doing belly massages to help him with his gas troubles. I've also learned to quickly recognize how he squirms and complains when he needs to fart lol these massages are pure gold and has become one of our best crowd pleasing acts actually. I start with clockwise belly rubs and end with pushing his knees on his belly while lifting his bum. Usually this results in a loud and shameless tuba-like fart. :) it's quite amusing to show others and to witness such loud noises from such a cute little being. 

 

5. There is so much free support for new moms out there! When I struggled in the beginning with breastfeeding, my local La Leche League representative was a godsent. They provide mothers with a ton of information online, through face-to-face consults and workshops, as well as 24hr telephone support (The best part). Regional practitioners also offer similar telephone support, and they give you a call and introduce themselves when the baby's birth is registered online. Motherhood is like a sisterhood, the resources are endless, the advice sources are endless and that was very reassuring to me. 

Finally, the last thing that I didn't expect was this: I think of him maybe 200 times more than I think of myself, which is something I never imagined I'd do. In a strange way I find it liberating to step off my own pedestal and stop worrying so much about me, what I look like, smell like and how I'm perceived. If I was being completely honest, I'd say that I was getting a bit bored with myself. I've secured a comfortable office job that I do well, however everyday was starting to look the same to me. Now with this beautiful baby boy a new adventure awaits us everyday. He's on the path to constant discovery and I'm one of the lucky people that gets to witness this happening. I get to rediscover this world through the bright sparkling eyes of this baby boy. For example when we took him camping for the first time when he was 6-weeks old, he seemed completely at peace and was absolutely dumbfounded by the leaves blowing through the canopy above us. I had him in a carrier for most of the day, and his eyes were just glued to the leaves and branches that were softly swaying above. I stopped and stared and appreciated the sight because it was quite beautiful and serene. Would I have done so without him? Probably not in the same way, probably not for as long and probably with half of the appreciation. Also it's fun to play again, my inner child loves being silly.

Today now that I'm over 4 months in, and I feel like I know him, and he's used me. I'm realizing what an excellent communicator babies can be if you pay close attention, Crying is really a last resort (most of the time). For example, from day one when he was hungry, he sucked on his hand. I simply had to replace his hand with my nipple and BAM! He was fed, burped and happy as a clam without as much as a dissatisfied peep from him. 

For those that don't have children yet, motherhood is nothing like the nay-Sayers tell you! You won't necessarily lose sleep, my baby slept through the night from day one. You won't necessarily "lose your body" with work and discipline you can get back into shape. Finally you won't resent your significant other, I've never loved my husband more than I do now, seeing him with our baby makes my heart feel like it's unable to contain what I feel for him.

To me motherhood is discovering within yourself a strength that you never knew you possessed; an ever growing love You didn't know your heart was capable of; and an eternal will to prove the negative nay-Sayers wrong because it can be oh so mind numbingly beautiful and exciting  while strengthening the bond between families... motherhood doesn't have to suck lol! 

I've never cried of joy this much in my life, I don't remember (or care) what life was like before his existence, his smile can singlehandedly melt away my worries. I'm more confident in myself than I've ever been and he motivates me to be the best I can possibly be!

Cheers to motherhood, but mostly my own mother who I'm appreciating so much more in brand new ways. 

 My next posting will give details about how I'm miraculously maintaining my active lifestyle with a now busy 4-month old.

Let's see how long posting will take me this time ;)